30 days of finding feminine

 

 'You’ve deserted me….Left me high and dry. I feel like the only clown left at the circus.'

 

 

‘Well, Nicola,’ she said. “I defy you to keep
dressing like you do when you're in a long term relationship…You dress for yourself, not anyone else…that will all change when you’ve got a bloke.’’




She was right about one thing, I certainly do dress for myself. Who else is there to worry about?? If I want to wear my printed dress with my camouflage jacket and my snakeskin boots, then why can’t I?

 

 I don’t have to wear a uniform to work. I did my time at school and I abided by the rules. Now as a grown woman very capable of making her own informed fashion choices, so I do ….with great abandon.

N* was like my fashion partner in crime.

She was all 80s stone washed denim and peroxide hair. Vintage nightdresses and bomber jackets. We didn’t sit close to each other but we would acknowledge each other’s fashion craziness from across the office floor and swap shopping tips as to where to get the really good vintage.

Then she let her hair grow out and stared shopping at The Kooples.

WTF?



I’d never really thought about what effect my sartorial fashion choices were having on my love life. As far as I was concerned, a man that didn’t have the balls to get past my pink, ponyskin, leopard print wedges, wasn’t a man I was going to be interested in.

Or was I scaring off potential suitors? I am confident, attractive and funny (so I’ve been told) but can come over as aloof and intimidating (as I’ve also been told) …was a green sequin pencil skirt a step to far?

 

So here was the challenge. For 1 month I was changing sides, playing it down. Dialling down the crazy. I was going to research exactly what clothes a man likes to see a woman in…(Intelligent answers on a postcard….’Lingerie’ and ‘birthday suit’ are not valid responses….)

and those were the only clothes I would wear. For 30 days…

I wondered how it would make me feel to step outside my comfort zone and take someone else into consideration when I was getting dressed. Would I still feel like myself? Would it take me longer to get ready? Would my mood change? How would I function at work?....


Suddenly, I didn’t feel so confident…

My google research stated the obvious. Men like ‘fitted clothes’ duh! Of course they do…I needed more details.

So I asked around….

No to smocks/tunics, dungarees, harem trousers, leggings (that was a surprise) chunky knit jumpers and too much makeup.

Au revoir to all my studded biker boots and heels with socks.
Hello to belted dresses, trouser and skirt suits, pencil skirts, skinny jeans and body con clothing, shapes and silhouettes that show some skin…but not everything all at once.

One guy answered ‘nothing too fancy’ when I asked him what he liked to see on a lady….

Some may have thought that was as clear as mud..…to me it was as plain as day….
Fancy is my middle name.

Biiiig changes had to be made.