Sunday, 9 September 2012

30 days of finding feminine: Day 3

Day 3:


White crochet mini dress
Snakeskin boots

So, today I’m miserable to the point of sulking…In fact, I am sulking…

It’s taken me hours to get dressed to the level of ‘nothing too fancy’ and here I am in a white crochet mini dress.

I feel like a 1960s bride….

 Do I feel like me? Well it might be easier if I didn’t – at least then I could pretend to be a different character and all the fun that brings with it…

The most depressing, difficult part is that is that I feel like an altered version of myself. It’s almost an out of body experience. Inside me there’s an unadulterated version  of myself screaming to get out…
I’m well out of my comfort zone. No ‘hardware’, short dress, legs out, hair down…it had better be worth it…

Got the once over by a bus conductor as I walk into the tube station. He was about 50 odd…maybe I reminded him of his wife on his wedding day.
What I really want to wear is my black demin shorts and black backless t-shirt with some killer heels..

I have a retouching meeting with my fav photographer - and actually one of my fav people in the world -  Jackie Dixon.

She is ‘cool’ personified. Ex stylist and fashion editor, now maverick fashion photographer, she is one of the most genuine people I know.

We arrive at the same first she doesn’t recognize me. After a double take she sreams ‘Oh my God!’

Jackie knows about my be fair, it’s her that told me to blog about it.
 I’m enjoying the fact that she is recognising my effort.

‘I can't believe how different you look’ she says as she takes off her sunglasses to get a better look. She stands there gawping at me ‘the hair, the’s all so …..soft’.

‘it’s even changing the way you’re sitting in a chair’ she interjects once we’ve started the meeting. ‘you’re all demure and crossed legged…like a lady’

Its true that my most comfortable demeanour is slouched in a chair, legs akimbo, but today that just feels wrong.

'….but, you’ve still got too much jewellery on’….
I hadn’t even noticed, but somehow 3 necklaces (small and fine mind you) and a pair of earrings had snuck their way onto my person….

‘strip it off, get it all off. I want purism’ she demands – and quite frankly, I will not deny Miss Dixon much….

During the meeting, if find it hard to focus initially , I loose my cpa, I’m mixing up my shots, I’m pulling my skirt down…
‘Get a grip St Louis!’ I chastise myself.

As we get up to leave, Jackie looks at me again.

'This is great. You must keep going with this. It’s gonna be amazing…just one thing…those shoes...’ she points to my snakeskin boots ‘they’re still too fashion.
I wanna see you in some LK Bennetts!'

With that parting shot, she leaves me naked – not literally obviously- but sans any jewellery or even a watch and whilst lt that felt ok in the safety confines of an office space… in the wide world with the sun shining, I feel mighty exposed.
Time for a walk for reaction.
It’s safe to say that despite my reservations about this look, this outfit is a winner..

I get what can only be described as positive feedback from men… a little older today though it feels.

The interesting thing today is that I’m also getting smiled at by women. This rarely ever happens…in fact my friends and I joke about it regularly. Usually women scowl at me and pull their boyfriends closer, but today I’m getting positive reinforcement form the sisterhood.
It’s great. I’m an equal opportunities dresser!

I finish the day with a meeting  with a supplier. He’s known me for years and has come down from Leeds. I have to give him some last instructions for window scheme that needs to be in yesterday…
'bet you’re sorry you came in to see me now’ I say.

‘It was worth it just to see you in that dress’.
(Dress - Miss Selfridge, Boots - Zara)


  1. Mmmm, it doesn't look like you Saint!

    1. I know!!... but I think that's the point, no?

  2. Just to balance the argument... I like it