Tuesday, 22 January 2013

30 days of finding feminine: The End of the Line

 The End Of The Line
  So, its all over, and ladies and gentlemen, here are some of the things I’ve discovered…..

There are some things I won’t wear (namely anything chenille).
 Some things I can’t wear (namely hot pants)....
...but after this, I still think that there's nothing that I shouldn't wear because it may or may not make me look more or less attractive/approachable/sexy or all of the above.

  My fashion partner in crime may feel that her relationship may have had an effect on her quirky dressing, but could this not have been exactly what caught her young mans eye in the first place? or else just a natural evolution of her style?

Lord knows, I'm not wearing the same stuff I did 10 years ago (Well...actually...)

It doesn’t matter what vibe a piece of clothing starts with, as soon as it’s on my back, its infected with my personality and it changes. And that, I’ve learnt, isn’t a bad thing…its me. Its my personality ….I’m not going to f**k with that…I shouldn’t have to. 


And that, my friends is why I will never look like one of the Middleton sisters or one of Girls Aloud – no matter what I  wear (although I wouldn’t mind looking like a member of En Vogue. Remember them? They were hot!)

  What I'm actually most pleased about is that I've made friends with my face.
In the past, we've had a bit of a love/hate relationship, but when I had nowhere else to hide - no bells, no whistles and no diversion tactics -  we had some quality time together, and I realised we're a winning combination...

...and I don’t need to hide behind my hair.
     To be fair to my hair, it’s not the only thing I’ve taken to hiding behind. Jewellery, accessories, crazy prints and clashing colours –  you name ‘em.

It’s true that you sometimes have to strip everything back to find out who you are, and I think I’ve done that. And who I am is a woman who is quite happy to please  noone but herself when considering what to wear.

 Although I’ve had some fun over 30 days pretending I'm not….

So will I be shaving my head anytime soon? Probably not. 

But I realise now that my canvas doesn’t always need to be so……Heavily embellished.


I don’t need all the razzle dazzle, but I like a bit of hardwear every once and a while. After all, it’s my party, and I’ll rock if I want to!


‘I’ll never look a thing like she does’….That’s not mine, I stole it from the Noisettes.

In my case, never a truer word was said.

Every day during this experiment someone would ask me ‘so what's happened?? Are you dating? Engaged? Married???
To be fair, this whole thing began because I wanted to see if me ‘finding feminine’ and changing my style would result in a more 'male friendly' version of me, and monitoring how this radical (well – it was for me) change affected me day to day.

In truth, I took on all the pearls of wisdom that my male friends gifted to me as part of my research and there was a distinct increase in the frequency of declarations of interest. However, I’m not sure if this was simply because I was on the lookout for it… (intentionise, intentionise)...
 My antennae were highly attuned.

It wasn’t until I was back in my civvies and 'unadulterated St. Louis,'  complete with a gold metal collar from the V and A museum, (The shop. It wasn’t a smash and grab by a woman driven mental by fashion gubbins deprivation) 50s style quiff, black studded stilettos, a black dress and the reddest, glossiest lipstick I could get my hands on that I got chatted up by the hottest, funniest, most direct, most honest and possibly the bravest bloke who’d tried his luck with me for a long time.

O.k, I'll admit, it was a foxy dress. It was short, with quite a low front. But it wasn’t an ‘easy’ one.
It wasn’t a ‘feminine’ one.

 Half tuxedo jacket, half jersey body con, asymmetric shouldered with lapels and accessorised with a gold metal neck piece and cuffs.

I looked like Boudicca at a black tie dinner.

Was it a coincidence that this happened just as the experiment had finished, when I’d taken all the lessons I’d learnt, binned what I didn’t agree with and was actually in a really happy contented place about who I was, how I looked and most importantly confident??
...Only the karma police will be able to give you a comprehensive answer to that, but I tell you something….

...I think not.

 So in conclusion, here are my words of wisdom in the style of Jerry Springer....
If you dress like a duck, walk like a duck and quack like a duck. You’ll attract a duck.
       I am not a duck.

 All photographs by John Lawrence